At the start of your career, the role is clear - you listen, you absorb, you learn from the people around you. But as you progress, the expectation shifts - you are asked to speak up, to share your thinking, to prove that you can contribute meaningfully to the work. But if you continue to grow, something interesting happens. You begin to realise that the most effective leaders are not the ones who dominate the conversation, but the ones who know when their voice will genuinely add something, and when to let others take the space.
There is confidence in that restraint. It signals trust in the people you work with, it allows space for different perspectives to surface and it often results in stronger, more collaborative outcomes. Silence, in the right moments, can be far more powerful than speaking. It is a skill though - being quiet doesn’t come easily to some of us! It’s a skill that requires self awareness, patience and a willingness to let go of the urge to be the most dominant voice in the room.
In leadership, client meetings and creative discussions, the ability to choose your moments is what marks the difference between simply leading the conversation and genuinely leading the work.
Your voice over your career.
When you first enter a profession, you rarely have the full picture. Your greatest value lies in listening intently, observing how decisions are made, and learning the unspoken rules that shape the work. Over time, as your skills and understanding deepen, you reach a stage where speaking up becomes essential - not only to demonstrate your capability but to actively shape the outcomes.
This is often the most vocal period of a career, where you’re keen to contribute in every meeting and have an opinion on everything. Yet the longer you stay in the game, the more you realise that impact is not measured by airtime. It’s easy to carry on this way and hold your own team back. The people you truly remember in a room are those who speak with precision, who pick their moments and whose words carry more weight because they are not spent carelessly.
Silence as a leadership tool
One of the most powerful shifts as you move into senior roles is recognising that your voice can dominate a room whether you intend it or not. The title on your email signature means your words carry an implicit authority, and this can unintentionally set the tone for everyone else. If you speak too early in a discussion, you risk shutting down other ideas before they’ve had the chance to breathe. Teams look for signals and if they think you’ve already made up your mind, they’ll quietly adjust their thinking to fit yours, even if it’s not the best direction.
By holding back, you give space for others to explore, to challenge each other and to own their contributions. Silence isn’t passive - it’s an active decision to create room for better thinking. And when you finally do speak, the weight of your input lands more heavily, precisely because it is not constant background noise.
Listening as Influence
There’s a common misconception that influence comes from having the best argument or the most persuasive delivery. In reality, some of the most influential people I’ve worked with rarely speak for more than a few minutes in a meeting. Instead, they listen with intent - not simply waiting for their turn to talk, but genuinely working to understand the perspectives in the room.
This kind of listening changes the dynamic. It encourages others to go deeper, to refine their thinking and to feel heard. It also gives you the ability to ask sharper, more targeted questions when you do contribute - questions that can shift the course of a project more effectively than a long speech ever could. In this way, listening becomes an active form of leadership, shaping outcomes without having to dominate the conversation.
Reading the room
Knowing when to speak and when to hold back isn’t an exact science, but there are tells if you’re paying attention. If people are exploring an idea and the energy is flowing, your words might only serve to redirect or dampen that momentum. In those moments, listening is a strategic choice - it signals trust in the team and allows ideas to mature before intervention.
On the other hand, if the discussion is circling without direction or starting to drift off-topic, speaking up becomes less about asserting yourself and more about providing focus. The skill lies in resisting the urge to fill every silence and instead making your contributions count.
Often, the most senior person in the room has the power to make others edit themselves before they’ve even spoken. By holding back, you give permission for unpolished ideas to surface - which are often where the real breakthroughs begin.
A few tips
If, like me, you have an intention to talk less in meetings but struggle to do it - here are a few tips:
Count to ten. If you feel the urge to jump in, pause. Give the room ten seconds. Someone else may make the point or move the discussion forward without your intervention.
Ask. Frame your input as a question rather than a statement. It keeps the conversation open and signals you’re there to explore, not dominate.
Notice who’s quiet. Instead of adding more of your own voice, use your influence to invite others in.
Check your motive. Are you speaking to add value or to be seen adding value? If it’s the latter, you’ve got your answer — stay quiet.
Let the mess happen. Some of the best ideas come from conversations that feel unstructured or incomplete.
Default to mute. Put a small barrier in the way of talking - leave your microphone on mute so that its harder to accidentally charge in.
Conclusion
Sometimes the smartest thing you can say is nothing at all. Silence doesn’t mean you’re disengaged — it means you’re disciplined enough to know the difference between making a point and making noise. If you can’t tell which one you’re about to do, shut up and let someone else speak.
Written by Russell.